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LOOKING Back...how to stop 

I just started the process with my lawyer about two weeks.  I am waiting like a nervous wreck for my husband to be served with child support papers.  While all this is going on, I have to move out of my apartment, which is a good thing because its a crappy area for my children but it was also affordable with my new budget.  I have so much on my plate right now that I keep thinking and looking back at my wedding pictures, how much of a great family we were and all the fun and laughter...am I making the right choice....?

answer is yes: its right for me and my boys to be out of a situation where it was all controlled and just filled with stress and tension and drinking on my husbands part.

answer is no: it wasn't all that bad, for me to walk out.  kids were happy, i was happy at times, family functions, and my boys were brothers.

How is one to follow the heart and shut out the voice in your head that says what are you doing to this family.  I hurt so many. Why am I taking the blame?  I am still alone as I was in my marriage, so why leave?  Should I go back and stop the process, get my hopes up as to what we once had can go back?

Yes: I can forgive and so can he
No: He is happy with his girlfriend and her kids.

I just need some direction, good advice, can I find it here on this site
by maganann  9 Posts 

Posted on 6/2/2008 3:21 PM 		Get AlertsGet Alerts!
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Comments for "LOOKING Back...how to stop"  (2) (You must be logged in to answer)
You made the right decision. It was a hard one, I know but it will be bettr in the end. I have tosay it, if I say it enough, I might believe it some day.  If you want to try, swallow your pride and ask. But, don't fall back into it. He will also fall back into the same patterns and not give up the girlfriend. Do you really want to share your husband with another family?
I wish you luck and I hope you find the answeres you need for your OWN happiness!  **huggs**
by Branny   743 Posts
Posted on 6/2/2008 8:39 PM
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I could have stayed instead of divorcing. But I finally figured out what was "off" in my marriage. He was never committed to our relationship. He is also an alcoholic. Anyone who drinks 4 to 5 cases of beer a week for over 30 years has a problem.
If I stayed I would have lost myself. I would be condoning the other women and the new wife I found out about. And there is more I am not ready to look at yet. The manipulation, stress and tension is gone from my life. I was always alone in my marriage too. I know , once a cheater always a cheater. He cheated more than I want to know. He has cheated on the new wife too.

Why leave? So you can have a chance at a better life. Someone who appreciates you and your boys. Who cherishes and respects who you are and your abilities. Someone to set a better example to your boys. If you don't find that someone you can set the example for them to follow. Mine was still a difficult decision as I know yours is difficult. You can only do what you know deep down is the right thing for you.
I wish you luck whatever your decision.
by trisha9054   1949 Posts
Posted on 6/2/2008 3:55 PM
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