yesterday was suppose to be a day of fun for me and the kids.  we decided to spend the day at a local water park, but instead it turned into a day of crying and disbelief for my youngest son.

He cried all during the afternoon about the park.  too hot weather, water too cold.  All the other dad's were there having fun with their kids.  My oldest enjoyed the day so much, he needed the much needed break.  Later to find out that all my youngest wanted was for dad to be there too.

It breaks my heart into a million pieces knowing that he is so sad, and then the sadness just extends to me and I become a depressed bunch of mush, who can not function for the rest of the day.  TV has become my best friend and it is sickening to me.  the youngest will not talk to anyone about anything, not even a counselor...it is so fustrating.  I know he will in time be better, but it has been 6 months since dad left him.  I can not take his sorrow some days.  It paralyses me

When does the healing begin and the sorrow truly end, some days are so much better than others and then things happen that push me back months.  This truly sucks for me and my kids