(Part 2 of Bumping into the Ex’s Fiancée)
I knew that running
into the ex’s fiancée was going to trigger a reaction from my ex. I just wasn’t sure what type of reaction
(well, maybe I knew just a little bit…).
He called me three
times and then sent me an email.
His voicemails were
incoherent so I deleted them. His email, well, let’s just say he isn’t too
happy with me. He wrote me a scathing
email in which he said that I am completely 1) irrational 2) insensitive and 3)
probably insane. He went on to tell me
that I had no right to hurt Sandra’s feelings.
That she was trying really hard to like me because she’s been told how
difficult I am (!). And “you know, SuYin, it isn’t easy for Sandra to come into
this marriage because she knows she has some big shoes to fill.” OK, seriously. WTF.
Then he wrote that I needed to be nice to Sandra or at least “try”
because she was going to be around my kids and “don’t you want to have a good
relationship with the woman who is going to be mothering your children while
you’re not around?” Hmmmm……
Anyway, his email
was LOOOONNNNGGGGGG.
So, I decided that I
was not going to play his stupid game of going back and forth because he loves
that. Sidebar: My b/f’s ex loves to write emails too and
much to my chagrin he engages in the back and forth. I don’t have time for that. My emails consist of: “Took the kids to the doctor. All is fine. Call me if you want more details
but there aren’t any.”
When I called Mark,
he was on his way home so it was perfect for me to have a conversation with him
without the distraction of being around Sandra (because he acts differently
when she’s there). I told him I had
received his email and I disagreed with him. I told him that I just didn’t understand why
Sandra was insisting on sitting down to talk to me. He said that I should just “suck it up and
realize that he’s getting married and that this is his new wife” – OK, how many
times has he told me that before? And how many times do I have to tell
him: I DON’T CARE!
I told him that I
would have lunch with Sandra. I said, “OK,
Mark you win. I will have lunch with
her. It will give me an opportunity to
tell her what type of man I married and how I hope you’ve changed because I
wouldn’t wish a man, like the one I married, on my worst enemy. But hey, people change I’ve been told.” He got pissed off and told me that I was crazy
and that he was going to talk Sandra out of having lunch with me. CLICK.
Here’s the thing – I
married someone long ago named Mark. That
Mark may not be the same person that Sandra is marrying. However, in my eyes, he will always be the
Mark that hurt me, that lied and cheated.
I don’t know Sandra. I want her
to believe in him because maybe he has changed. Maybe he really is all that she says and who
am I to ruin that for her? I am not a
bitter ex-wife. All I am to Mark now is
the mother of his children. We will have
that bond forever, for better or for worse. He has the opportunity to be happy with her
and she with him. I am good with that because
in the end it is good for my children.
Now on to the
wedding on Saturday and my birthday. JOY!