to the counselor.... 

next week is our first trip to the counselor.  First of all husband has still been acting like a completely different person.  No yelling ( which he say he just has a loud voice) he been really really patient with the kids, and with me.  He seems to actually be trying to make his own friends (since he doesn't like mine...then stated he said it because he was jealous).  I am trying really hard to give him credit for the things he is doing.  He believes that I am making no effort.  I told him that I have made an effort for years, tippy-toeing around him so he doesn't act cranky and fly off the handle.  And where is my credit for that?  Why shoud he get credit for any of this when it took him until I talked about divorce and seperation to make these changes????   Last time he brought up that he is really trying hard, I agreed with him but also said, "and how do you think it makes me feel that I have been trying for years and you try for 2 months or whatever and want special credit??  AND it took the threat of divorce to get you started??"
On top of that, yesterday he found this website too so I can't write anything too personal anymore or talk to you all like I want to because he will know it is me and recognize it.    I am angry and upset that I have no outlet anymore, and that this is how he feels about what he is doing.