Divorce is scary 

I am at the beginning of a divorce after 25 years. We both still live in the same house , i was told by a lawyer not to leave & he wont.  We have 3 children 2 in college and one still in 11 grade.  I filed for divorce 2 months ago, I am trying to be cooperative and fair. Neither of us have much money but I cant live like this anymore.  It is like after all these years I had another arguement with him and he said my younger sister said bad stuff about me, so I said as usual I was going to call her and as, usually I just say it & cry and do nothing but my sister and I are close so I called her and she told me straight out she did not say any of what he said.  It turns out he was listening at the bottom of the stairs and told me i was telling it wrong so I told him to repeat it so I said it correctly at this he came up grabbed the phone out of my hand and started yelling at my sister.  He then handed me the phone saying she was a screw upp and walked away.  I told him I was going to my sisters to think.  While I was getting ready I started thinking, it seemed like I was thinking clearly for the first time in a very long time, I could see things of the past in a clear perspective.  Anyway about a half hour later he went into our sons room and started making noise, this I started to realize was a pattern of his and as usual I went in to see what all the noise was and he said oh sorry if I said anything to hurt your feelings and I do love you, I said well to be honest and I looked him straight in the eyes and said I dont Love you anymore & went back to packing. A few minutes later he went down stairs and out back, I packed a bag and went to my sisters.  While down there I spoke with many of my brothers & sisters, I am 1 of 8, and found that over the years my family has topped calling because my husband would take the short conversations they would have and would change te words to his liking to upset me & they thought I was happy with him so they backed off and still invited me and the kids to family functions but we were not as close anymore, but are now working at getting closer again.  I also by reading things and calling aabuse lines that this kind of treatment if a form of mental abuse.  I do not believe my husband does it to be mean, he has some medical issues and other problems and it has become a pattern for him o hurt me and be negative all the time and this is not how I want to spend the rest of my life.  I want to enjoy my children who are 21,19 & 17 great kids, and figure out me but I also would like more friends and in time a conpanion.