setting up meeting with mediator, he just doesn't want to be married or change how he is 

found out my husband of nearly 14 years cheated on me the first time after I had our son, then recently again.  We've been in therapy but he never really committed to it and after I found out about his most recent escapades, he's decided that he doesn't want to make things work.  It's because I told him if he wanted us to stay together, he had to commit to being in therapy, working on his issues and making a real committment to change - here's the kicker, I wanted it in a legally binding document.  He balked.  I don't understand how someone can say he doesn't want to lose his family but yet won't change or do what he needs to do to keep them.  He now says we've never been compatible sexually (and I've been living in a sexless marriage) and that he's not going to change his mind about that.  He won't even bother trying.  My thought is that its all bs and he just likes what he's doing and wants to do it a guiltfree environment - sleep with whoever he wants, do whatever he wants, etc.  I just want an adult, a man - someone who is responsible and enjoys family time, time with friends, time together.  My husband was always on the computer and blackberry and he said that he doesn't want to change his being on the computer and blackberry all the time.  I told him I hope he enjoyed his girlfriend.  His issues and problems go so deep that I know that divorce is the right thing but it's hard sometimes.  Its painful and I feel horrible.