"Telling Others"
Although I am a very social person and have lots of friends and acquantances, I tend to keep my personal life very private. That makes this quite a dicey issue for me; Telling people about the divorce.
Basically, I don't generally tell anyone. Even though my ex and I have been separated for almost a year and the divorce is final, there are an inumerable amount of people (some of them very close friends) that I have never told. They frequently ask me "how is _____ and the kids" and I just say "they are all doing great," which technically is true. I even go so far as to tell them how work and career are going for my ex, but always neglect to inform them that we are not together.
I don't think it is out of pain or embarrasment that I do not tell people, it's just that I hate to go into any detail about my personal life with anyone. When it comes to the polite socializing at the office, I generally tell people a small detail of what happened over the weekend and then conveniently re-focus the conversation to them; which everybody is always happy to discuss -- themselves. I have learned this is an easy way to avoid telling people about yourself.
I never even told my neighbor, who seemed to figure it out on his own once he notice her car was always gone. My ex, however, is the exact opposite -- she tells everyone everytime she talks to anyone. That is just her nature. They say opposites attract, but now I wonder how long they stay attracted.
Now, I am the first to admit that my privacy has created many difficult/embarrasing moments in my life and here is a great example. On more than one occassion, I have been out on a date with another woman and ran into a person who my wife and I have known for many years. They will look at me crossly, as if I'm a dirty cheat, and say "well, who is this?" I then have to explain that we are divorced and get the shock and awe, right there and then, which probably is not the best time to deal with it. I could have easily explained the situation to these people during our last conversation when I told them "everything was great!" But, that is just not my nature. So, unfortunately, I will be stuck dealing with "telling other people" one by one and generally out in public.
By way of example, I went to a wedding this past weekend and many long time friends were there. When I showed up with a date, some of my friends had met her, but many people were very uncomfortable, as was I. But again, that is just me. The biggest problem is that when this happens, the woman I'm with doesn't seem to appreciate much that I have not told many friends that I am divorced and that I act distant with her. She tends to interpret that as if I have not yet moved on and maybe am hoping to get back with the ex.
The lesson is that I do not recommend this method. It is probably much easier and cleaner to just deal with it head on, and to openly discuss the issue when asked. However, divorce is difficult and emotional, every one is different, and each person deal with it as best they can and in thier own way.