Trash Talk 

So, your ex was a real piece of work, right? I bet a lot of us have several choice words to describe our former spouses, none of them appropriate to utter aloud in most public settings.

Who do you vent to? Some people really just don't want to hear it; controversy makes them uncomfortable and frankly, they just don't know how to respond when you say how your ex is the biggest ^#&%$& on earth. Yet, we all have those rare, precious few that we can really let loose with and say every mean thing that comes into our head. Those are keepers, let me tell you. Especially if they join in!

There are groups you'd be best advised to skip the trash talk with. For instance, mutual friends are probably not a good forum when you want to eviscerate your ex. It makes for an uncomfortable situation and you don't want to put people in the middle.

It's also probably not a good idea to put down your ex to or in front of your kids. Not only are kids impressionable, but most likely they still see the other parent and it will make things awkward and/or strain their relationship. Worse, they can turn on you, seeing you as the bitter parent that wants to ruin things. Not cool. I don't have kids, so I don't know if I could fight the urge to tell them that their father is an idiot. Either way, I do know it just isn't a good idea. I think divorced parents should try and avoid the topic altogether, or at least try and be a little diplomatic.

I think that, as I let some of my anger go, I trash talk my ex less often. If he comes up in conversation, I might say one bad thing and two that are good (like a compliment sandwich!). It's tempting to focus on only the negatives, but there must have been something good about your ex, otherwise, why did you get married?