Can not read her! 

It's been 4-5 months since her affair ended I think but am I better off? We came so close to divorcing...even shopping for seperate houses before we decided to try one more time. Months have passed and we still don't say I love you. Occasional sex is fine but no intimacy when it happens. I had decided within myself that it's time to file and get on with finding happiness...then this past weekend she does everything right...she seems happy all week. Then today she asks if I want to go with her to this get together this weekend that I had intended to go to anyway. I ask "do you want me too? her answer..."I don't care. Doesn't matter to me if you go or not. I am going but you don't have too". What does that mean? She has always been an "I, me and my" person...never a "we, us, our" person. Why can't she just say I want you to go. Even...I'd like it if you came. Why does she cuddle with me in the bed but never look me in the eye...rarely kiss? It is as if we are friends at home...she makes long term plans for us but I can't imagine being with her another month the way we are. I need more from her. I deserve more. After the affair she should be trying way harder than this half hearted effort. Neither of us deserve this "trying" to fall back in love again...we both are equally distant now...why can't she just say it's over so I can stop trying? Or make me feel like she wants me around so I can try harder. At this point divorce seems so much easier than holding it together. It's 10pm and I am still at work because I would rather sit at my desk than deal with this.