Very Interesting..... 

AJ my husband, confuses me at times. For those of you keeping up with my story, Wednesday night we had a heart to heart lol, about somethings. I was calm, did not yell, or curse and I just basically told him what I felt. Basically the conversation did not go well, and I found out some pretty devastating things. His love for me had gotten so distant, that now he only loves me "Like I am his home girl who just so happens to have his baby" Wow right? It all comes down to this. I mean that hurts me to the core, to hear him say that. Never knew he could turn so cold. Dang!!!!!!!!! It feels like someone stabbed me in the heart with two knives! Never knew  it was like that, or would even be like that. But what confuses me is, I asked him "Could you walk out of that door with no feeling no emotion? He said yes, but then turned around and said " I have faced the fact that you will move on with your life and marry another, I wont be fine with that but I have faced that fact.....and I know this person will be in our daughters life and partially raise  her which I am not ok with but I have faced that fact as well." Huhh???????????  I am lost, ok so you wont hurt from this divorce nor will you regret it, you can walk out that door with no feeling or emotion, and wont feel like this is a mistake, but it will bother you that I will eventually marry a good man who will in part now be apart of your daughters up brining? Uggghhhh (that's me screaming out loud with my hands in the air) Ok if someone has no emotion, no feeling then it wouldnt bother them nor would it matter if I move on with my life. Sounds like to me there are some feelings there. Are you trying to down play your feelings for me so I can what, stop trying? Just like he told me he doesnt want to be here any longer, but then turns around in the same sentence and say, But I stay here because I am trying to see how things go with us and my emotions, and then in the next sentence he says he is going to try and file the divorce once we get to Arizona (although we will have to be residents there for at least 90 days) Nothing he says makes any sense to me. Uggghhhhh again.......... One more thing he said makes absolutely no sense. Ummmm he said us being intimate  will make things more difficult!!! Uhhh ok so living here with me knowing you want a divorce isnt? I asked how is it going to make things more difficult, he couldnt really explain it. He just said he does not want to come off as if he is using me. I am thinking that being intimate with me will make it harder for him to let go, or maybe that he doesnt  want to make a decision to stay married just because of the sex or something. I dont really have a problem being intimate with him, because regardless of if we have sex or not, I wll love him either way, and it will be difficult with him leaving anyway. me being intimate with him is just for my physical needs, sort to speak lol. Has nothing to do with anything else. Come on ladies.....and men yall know exactly what I mean. So I asked him, do you still want me in that way, or are you still even attracted to me? he said yes, so then I said so how is that using me? He said because do you think that's right for us to be intimate, then I trun around and divorce you a couple of months later? I said why are you even looking at it that way? I'm not. I stated using me would be, not actually wanting me, or being attracted to me, but then turning around and being intimate with me just because It's there and since you married, you cant get it any where else. you know, taking advantage of the situation. He said i understand, but I dont totally disagree....... hmmmm interesrting. Well all I can say to that is, he isnt totally a monster, I guess he still cares somewhat about my feelings lol.  But I am at the point where I am like, I am done with trying to understabd this young man, which is exactly what he is...........young! I mean wake up! You are married, with a child, you have way toooo much invested in this to let it go. But hey that is just my opinion. I dont agree entirely with the stay for the kids theory, but I will say this, I believe that should be a strong reason to stay.  My parents never married they were college sweethearts and ended up getting pregnant very early. My father went off to play professional football afterwards and after my mother had me she enlisted in the Army. Although my father was in my life through phone calls 2-3 times a week. And birthday cards and occasional visits, I never really had him there. I never fully had him in all of the ways possible to have a father. That hurt me alot and I grew up resenting my parents for not sticking together. Dont get me wrong, I had everything I ever dreamed of growing up, but I always had this void, this yearning for something more...........My parents both together. Anyway to cut off the violin music short lol, I never want that to happen to our daughter. That would kill me, and I would hate myself for quite some time, if my daughter grew up with that void in her life that may lead to emotional issues  that I am dealing with right now. My father said something to me the other day. "he said, I never want my kids to go through what you have, he said I regret not being in your life more, and if me and you mother would have stayed together, I could of been with you more. I dont want that same mistake to happen to my children and wife now. " So that is why it is so important to work out any issues with my wife, no matter what it is big or small. What a smart decision to make Daddy.!!!!!!!!!!!! Not too people know the sacrifices made to keep families together, not just for the sake of the kids, but because it is the more logical, ethical way to go. In summary, people should think more about the responsibilities when you makes promises to GOD for better ot for worse. And that sometimes it has to get worse in order to get better.