I can't help falling OUT of love with you 

When my stbxh told me that he was walking on out the door and that he no longer loved me and of COURSE hadn't for some time --- I remember saying to him....HELP me out here.  How do you stop loving someone?  How do you fall out of love?  Because I don't know how to stop loving you!

Well --- when he left I never thought he would ever do anything for me again and now I find that he has given me the greatest gift. 

By being a total, complete, selfish, ass and treating me & our children with such cruelty - I realized that I am falling out of love with him.  It's not just love that has moved into hatred.  I find that I no longer want to love a man who would do such things.  I see that I am worth SO much more and that he was a fool to ever leave me.  I wasn't perfect - but I was so good at loving him.  I adored him and did so much for him. 

Now I see that I finally value myself so much more than I did four months ago.  I wouldn't even want to date someone like this - let alone be in love with them.  What I see when I look at him is just a sad pathetic guy.  Searching for something he'll never find because he doesn't get that it is what is inside of him that is lacking.  I no longer want to "fix" everything for him.  I no longer want to come up with any excuse just to hear his voice.  Now his voice just leaves me cold. 

It helped to see his love note to his girlfriend last night.  As much as it hurt it was also really good for me.

I started laughing when I thought - okay now imagine a friend tells you they want to fix you up with this guy and they start telling you about him.   They'd say --- well when he & his wife were married for 16 years he became addicted to porn & lied about it, then when they were married for 18 years he cheated the 1st time & lied about it, then after his wife forgave him all that - he walked out just two months shy of their 26th anniversary because he became involved with a much younger & also married co-worker.  SO WANT TO DATE HIM? 

That kind of put it in perspective.  Not only would I NOT want to date him, I would not want him as a friend, an acquittance and certainly not as the man I am in love with. 

So everyone join in ----

Wise men say --- only smart people rush out --- cause I can't help falling OUT of love with you! 

YIPPEE for me!