OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH My Gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here Goes all or nothing!! 

Ok, so I spoke with my father today. I am relatively young and still look to my parents for guidance on certain issues, especially my father because he is never biased. My parents are not togther, and they both have remarried. But my father did point out something to me. He said I regret not always being there for you, like I could of if your mother and I would of worked things out. Wow....................To hear my father say that to me brought alot of emotions through me.......I felt that same way about him. Soon after my mother gave birth to me, she joined the army and off we went. My father played professional footabll, so off he went. So for the next 8 years, I didnt have him physically in my life. I got the 2-3 phone calls per week. The Holiday and Birthday visits, but I never emotionally connected with him, ever, even now. I dont feel as close to him as I feel with my mother. I love my father very much, just the same as my mother, but I dont feel really close to him. I sort of resented that he started another family, and was there for my half siblings the way that I wanted him to be there for me. I never knew My fathers love, I knew it was there but I never knew it. I didnt know what it was about for a man to love me, by dad wasnt there to teach me that. I believe that's how I got into that mentally/emotionally abusive relationship. It pretty much messed me up. I went into my marriage with that same baggage. I never really dealt with it, until that day my husband dedcided that he wanted a divorce. I snapped out of feeling sorry fo rmyself and that isolation I dug a hole in, and actually started seeing myself for who I had really become. Angry, confused, cold, and hurt. I decided I did not want to be like that anylonger, and not only wanted to take myself back but also my family. My husband no longer wants that, he said it is too late. He wants out, and I should of been doing this a long time ago. But now he is done. let me let  some of you who may have not read anything else about me in on something. I am 24 my husband is 22, we are on two different levels of maturity, he works off of emotions, I work off of logic"the bigger picture" We have been married 2 years 6 months and have a beautiful 22 month old together. he wants a divorce because he has been unhappy for a year....wow......1 full year....anyway I have been pushing him away not on purpose, but because i isolated myself trying to deal with my own issues, he had no idea that i suffred emotionally from a previous relationship. So when I finally did let him no what was up, not only was he having an affair, but now in his opinion it's too late, he feels nothing and wants a divorce. Now I having logic and working off of a different mind set  from him wants to work it out despite the affair and other issues. Why? Because I want my daughter to have different, so she wont be in the exact  situation like me.