Why do I still love her 

    My stbx Has caused me the most pain that I have ever felt. This is coming from a man that was holding his dying fathers hand as he took his last breath. Going over to my mothers house and finding her cold lifeless body on the living room floor. Several times my wife, the one I love, has caused me more pain than that.
  Going out to spend the day with her daughter and d not coming back home for 36 hrs. No phone call or nothing. She would not accept my calls. She said that she spent the night sleeping in a chair at her daughters boyfriends single fathers house. She said nothing happened and I believe her because I trust her. But 36 hrs. and no call? I was so worried.
    I got a call from my brother saying that B. called. She was in an accident. She didn't call me, wouldn't accept my calls and again stay away for 28 hrs with no contact wondering if she was okay. Misery.
    6 months before we married, she moved out and took an apartment.She wanted space. We continued to see each other regular. One sunday, out of the blue, she dropped a bomb and said that we shouldn't see each other any more. 3 days later I stopped by her apartment to drop off some of her belongings just as she was leaving. She was looking all fine. I just knew that she was going out on a date. A couple of days later when she decided to talk to me , she admitted that she did go on a date. She said it was just a date and that nothing happened. I believe her because I trust her.
   She had me thrown in jail because of a heated argument in which both of us were being verbally abusive to each other.I was charged with D.V. 4th degree.
   She called the police on me twice before for the same reason with no consequences. Once it was because I put a lock on my bedroom door just so she would leave me alone.
    She kicked me out of my own house leaving me homeless and is filing for d This is the woman who I am still in love with? She called the police on my brother over a dispute that they were having.. She is trying to steal the house that I purchased with inheritance From my late mothers estate 11 years prior to us even meeting   This is the woman that I am still in love with? I am and always will be committed to making our marriage work even after all the agony and suffering. But I am at the point where I just want to give up. I don't want or need that kind of abuse. Do we need counseling? I think we do. thanks for letting me vent.