Tuesdays are my “late” nights: my dad takes Mae to ice skating class, then they go out for burritos, and back to our place to do some homework. When I got home last night, I didn’t even notice the opened cardboard box on the floor, near our shoes. I was overwhelmed with bags, which I plopped down by the door.

I walked straight up to my dad, gave him a kiss, and then sat on the sofa, where Mae climbed onto my lap. It wasn’t until my dad left that I noticed the box. I froze.

The box was from Babeland. Damn. They’d emailed last week to let me know they were sending me a “Heartbreaker Vibe” to “review.” (Yes, I do have a P.O. Box, but UPS doesn’t deliver to P.O. Boxes.)

So, I casually tried to pick up the box, during which the vibrator fell to the floor. It was like finding out that someone had eaten my porridge — only this was a giant red dildo.

“Grandpa said I could open that,” Mae said. “He said it’s for the bath. What does it do in the bath?”

“Uh, it massages,” I fibbed, taking a deep breath, thinking, Let’s hope Grandpa learned his lesson about letting his granddaughter open mysterious brown boxes from now on.

We were off to bed, and I hoped that this morning would be a new day. But within five minutes after getting up, Mae said, “Can I take a bath and use that new toy you got?”

“No,” I said. “Now, would you like Koala Crisp cereal for breakfast?”

And that was the end of that. Single parents: let this be a lesson. I can’t help but wonder, however, if this could have been a “teaching moment.” I kind of fibbed. I could have said something along the lines of, “Adults have special toys, too, for adults only–”