Liar, Liar, Pants on FIRE 

Tonight I went to pick up my son from my stbxh's house after he had left for work.  I normally just pull up - but I really had to use the facilities so I ran in.  Bad idea.  Once I was in there - I went into his bedroom and sitting on his dresser was a card he had recently given his girlfriend and it just about slayed me.

It was heartbreaking, heart wrenching on many levels.  YES - of course I guessed he was giving her the sentiments that were once upon a time reserved for me and yes - of course I guessed he was in love with her.  BUT somehow seeing it in print - in his hand was so disconcerting I actually felt like I would be sick. 

It's hard because my stbxh is a weak little man.  (I am feeling exceptionally petty right now so I would like to focus on the LITTLE part) and he is adamant that he isn't in love with her and that they have NO plans for the future. 

I am planning an extended sojourn and will be gone for six months.  My youngest son (almost 18) will be living with his dad in my house - which my stbxh will rent from me.  Both my sons have been clear that if their father is MORE than "friends" with this woman (this is what he claims their relationship is) then they are gone baby gone.  They do not want her in their lives as she is toxic and actually quite disturbed.  And I am NOT being petty when I say that.  My stbxh knows how they feel and he repeatedly tells them no no no.  There is nothing more than friends with benefits.  YES, he did say that.

He also told my son who will be living with him that he only plans to see her 1 to 2 times a month.  Yeah right.  He also promised that the lying has stopped.  I guess for five seconds it did. 

So not only was it shattering for me to read those words --- shattering actually isn't strong enough.  I don't know if there are words to describe the pain I feel right now.  It is like being told he is leaving all over again.  So - it was bad enough to read the words - but then to also know for sure (I knew on a gut level) that he was lying to the boys about his relationship.  It makes me angry that he continues to lie to  and manipulate them.

I only have 12 more days here in this area before I head out until the middle of January.  I am scared to death but so glad to be leaving.  I think it will be my salvation.