This thing just goes on and on. You think things will get better but.....
Tonight he goes to pick up his kids for visitation. The kids are not ready and she is not home yet. He tells them to hurry up so that they are gone by the time she gets home so that he does not have to listen to her yelling.
The youngest , almost 10 years old, comes outside, phone in hand , and tells him that they are not allowed to go with him until he returns a picture of her to her mother. A softball picture , which she did order and pay for so it is hers. He was going to make a copy as he was not given any opportunity to order any of his own, and then return it. She wants it now, and is using the kids to get it. A picture for her children, go figure.
He was told last week that he could not get the kids this Thursday, his supposed time with them. He told the kids he would be by there on Wed to get them, due to this event that she scheduled again, during his supposed visitation. They informed him that whatever the appt was, she told them they do not have to go, only she does. My guess is that it was an appt with her attorney to make the kids talk against their dad. That is what he thinks and said so. So it was canceled.
Then he tells the boys that he will be picking them up to hunt on Saturday as they had planned. They tell him that they are going to camp out with her sister, so they can't go.
Again, she runs the show. He just has to do what she wants and it does not rock the boat. She is happy as long as it goes her way.
Hopefully in July, the judge will see these stupid games she plays as just that. Games to make everyone do what she wants. Hopefully he will see her as the controlling manipulative person that she is. Hopefully things will be resolved to a point where it is not hurting the kids. Hopefully he will have some peace and maybe, the control will lesson.
He is left , angry and upset because ALL he wants is for her to leave him alone and let him see his children when he is supposed to. That is all. It appears that is too much for this crazy woman. She calls him constantly, not to communicate but to tell him what will be happening. 3 plus times a day. Not to discuss things but to be his boss. 7 years of hell since the separation . 17 years of hell total since the day they married.
Can't she at all see what she is doing ??The Funny thing is , I think that she still loves him. But her actions have driven him so far away. It has killed any feeling that he had for her and removed any chance to reconcile.You cannot strip a man (or woman) of who they are, or who they are supposed to be. You cannot control their actions not make them behave how you think they should.Fight all the time in private and pretend that everything is ok for the churches eyes.  It may work at first to your advantage but it will not last. Been there done that, I was to the end of my rope also.
 Real love is allowing that person to be who they are at all times. Real love does not expect to control EVERYTHING. If you really love someone you cultivate the good, not try to beat the bad out. No one is perfect. You can't change them. Real love loves them for who and what they are, good bad and the ugly. And we all have good bad and ugly.