I received an email over the weekend from Sandra.
She is my ex-husband’s soon-to-be wife.
She wants to get together so that we can discuss our life
together. She said that since she is
going to be the new “Mrs. ______” that she thinks “it is a good idea for us to
talk and to get to know one another… to share”. Hmmm… What does that mean?
First, I don’t have “a life together” with Mark and Sandra. Second, I am not the old “Mrs. ______” that
would be Mark’s mother. ;-) Third, I am
having a hard time understanding why I have to be involved in everything that
revolves around Mark’s life. When Mark
decided to get married, I received calls from his mother and his sisters. I think the only person in Mark’s family who
really knows the meaning of the sentence “Mark and I are divorced” is his
father. That’s the only person that I
really miss from that clan. It’s too bad
that Mark didn’t inherit any of his dad’s gentlemanly (and human) traits. OK so back to Sandra and her request…
Here is the thing, I have told Mark (and mentioned here in
my journals) that he is the FATHER of my children. It ends there.
We do not have a relationship other than when it has to do with the
children and that’s only when Mark cares, which isn’t often. Sandra calling me regarding a get-together is
absurd. Now don’t get me wrong, I like
Sandra. She is good to my kids when they
spend the weekend at their dad’s. Can’t
we just leave it at that?
I haven’t responded to the email. Today, Mark emailed me to ask me why I haven’t
responded!
Why don’t I want to have lunch with Sandra? I can’t stand her soon-to-be husband! ;-) Seriously, if I had met Sandra outside of Mark,
we would probably be friends. However,
she is with Mark and she may want to ask me questions that I am not prepared to
answer (or she may not be prepared to hear) AND I am not sure I will be able to
stop myself.
I wish them happiness, really, I do. I want the stability for my kids. I want my kids to see a happy marriage so that
they can have a good example of a loving relationship. They have that with me and I want them to have
it when they go visit their father. I don’t
want Sandra to know what happened between Mark and me through me...it has to be through him. I don’t think
he’s been honest with her about everything. Maybe she knows some things but not all and I
am not one to hide what happened.
Whatever Sandra needs to know about Mark she needs to ask
him. The only thing I want to share with
Sandra is information about my children. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. I don’t think she realizes, in this case, how
blissful her ignorance is.