Travel as Catharsis 

I realized this weekend how important travel is to me and how much it helped me to heal after my divorce. It was one of those things that I gave up when I was married. We couldn't afford it, he didn't have the time, our daughter was too young. Up until that point, travel had been a huge part of my life. Give me a back pack, a little bit of money (not much) and a plane or train ticket and I was happy. My ex liked travel, but he didn't make it a priority.

Lately, I have been feeling very down about my relationship with my boyfriend. I have been finding it difficult to deal with certain things, his spiteful ex wife and the fact that she is still going with his family on vacation (his parents plan and pay for it, he goes for half the time and she goes for the other half the time, I don't go at all), his hateful daughter, the fact that he doesn't want to get married again. Then on Friday he called and said he had booked us on a 15 day trip on the Danube. Even though I can't go, I perked up immediately. And then we started planning what we could do and settled on a trip to New York, a place we each lived at one point in our lives. Suddenly, the ex wife seemed less irritating, the daughter less of a problem and I felt more tethered to the relationship. That making travel plans was what I really needed to feel more connected to him. 

We have symphony tickets and other plans that are long range, but this felt more like something I could hold onto and say that we are in it for the long term.  It is funny to realize that travel may not just be a luxury for me, but something that I need to feel like myself. I realize that is a huge privilege of living in the western world and having the resources to do it, but even when I haven't had the resources, I have found ways to make it part of my life.

And the fact that I have been able to share the world with my daughter for all these years I realize may not have happened if I had stayed married. We probably couldn't have afforded it if it were 3 instead of 2. Plus, it is something that I always save for because it is important to me, he was never willing to save toward anything, he just bought on credit whenever and whatever he wanted.

I'm glad to be with someone now who appreciates and prioritizes it as much as I do. And I'm glad that it was something I was able to rediscover when my marriage ended, even more glad to share it with my daughter!