What Does it Take? 

One of the hardest parts of getting a divorce is learning how to move on from the whole experience. How can you put the person you once considered the love of your life behind you?

Many of us have been in relationships or marriages that, for whatever reason, did not work out. Whether you were together for one year or twenty, the memories will haunt you. It is an unavoidable side effect of any breakup. So what can we do to make it easier?

I think the most important thing to remember is that it takes time to complete the grieving process. Like you would mourn a death, you mourn a failed relationship, It is normal to be in pain. Don't deny yourself the appropriate amount of time to be sad. There is no set rule; do things at your own pace, regardless of what anyone says.

Another common emotion following the end of a marriage is anger. If you've been paying attention at all, you know how darn angry I was at my ex for the things he put me through. I am also still mad from time to time. It is nothing to be ashamed of, just don't let it lead you down a path of destruction. The anger phase is probably the best time to talk to someone you trust and get all the crap off your chest. Unloading your anger is the best way to start forgiving.

If it is possible for you, try taking a vacation. I traveled quite a bit after my breakup; the change of scenery was refreshing and allowed me to lose myself, if only for awhile. Focus on yourself and all the good things in your life. You might just come home with a new perspective.

Regardless of how you feel now, you will not feel this way forever. You will pick up the pieces and you will be happy again. There is something out there for everyone; maybe the one you were with was not your destiny, but we all discover our purpose in life eventually. Hang in there! I still have unresolved feelings for my ex, but I am dealing with them. One day, I will be able to say I am O.K. and so will you.