No longer in denial............. 

last night I had a revelation, a break through actually. I finally get it. I have been fighting for a few months now, for my marriage.And finally I get it. One person can not fight alone. Especially when the other no longer wants it. Something he said to me last night finally stuck. "I dont want to be here anylonger, I'm just not feeling it, I am just unhappy and dont feel we are ever going to work!" he has said this to me multiple times in the past three months, but I never believed him. but it was something about the way he said it last night. With anguis and discuss anger and fustration, then something finally snapped in me and said" Shira, he really doesnt want you my dear, you need to snap out of this denial and began to move on heal! I think I was in denial for so long because alot of times his actions show me differently you know. 1. We still reside in the same place of residence. 2. we are still intimate from time to time at least once or twice a week. 3. he still tells me that he loves me. 4. he still spends time with me and does things for me. 5. for mothers day, he paid big money for me to pamper for a day at a swavy spa. 6. He still refers to me as his wife and still wears his wedding ring. 7....... the big kicker, he hasnt filed for divorce...Yet.But then there are times the words out of his mouth makes me feel as this is over. But then I start telling myself he is only saying those things because he is angry that I cut off all of his communication with the other woman, or because he is still in love with her, and is going through withdrawl. But then sometimes you have to be realistic and look at things for what they really are. Even if he is saying that to you because of these things, why would you even still want to be with him?