Why Doesn't He Want To Be With His Kids? 

I was really disappointed when my unhusband informed me- this past monday- that he didn't plan on coming back over to visit all week and also had a softball tournament he'd be gone for all weekend.  I couldn't understand how someone who has been gone for three months could have no interest in spending time with their kids.  All the kids could talk about was how they couldn't wait for daddy to be back home and they counted down the days until his return.  It hurt me very much to feel their dissappointment. 

Otherwise, our monday 'reuniting' actually went really well (I wrote about that in a previous journal entry) but it's gotten harder ever since.  It's gotten more awkward and distant since I saw him monday.  I was able to convince him to come back and visit wednesday but he spent most of the time packing his gear for the middle east.  He also talked a lot about his feelings and problems but would barely listen when I told him mine.  Granted, he has a lot going on right now but I am going through a lot too.  Maybe he just doesn't care.

I also asked him to come over tonight and be with the kids while I was at a mandatory company event after work.  They were going to play the board game 'Axis & Allies' together while I was gone.  I thought it'd be a great father-sons time.  After I got home and the kids were upstairs getting ready for bed he got very testy and crabby with me, it reminded me of one of the many reasons I was so unhappy when we were together.  It's so tiring to deal with someone like that 24/7.  But I'm really glad- for the kids sakes- that he was over more often this week than he was planning on.  

Another thing is that we still haven't told them about our divorce yet.  It never seems like the right time.  But is there ever a right time?  Obviously we didn't want to tell them his first night back.  So now it's just a matter of when.  He told them he needed to stay at the hangar (he's in the National Guard) while he is working there and they seem to have accepted that for now. 

But he was never around much even when we were together, he usually worked so many shifts they barely saw him anyway.  So I'm sure it feels normal to them for him to be someplace else.  I guess in a way it may make our divorce a little bit easier for them to adjust to.  Or at least I hope so. 

But how can someone not want to spend time with their kids when they've been gone for 3 months and will be leaving shortly for a year in Iraq?  I just don't get it.  I wish there was something I could do to help him see how important it is for him to be around his kids as much as he can.