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California Supreme Court has ruled that same-sex couples have a right to legal marriage. Moments after the ruling was announced, a colleague entered my office to tell me the news and what it meant for her and her partner.
I am happy for them. Despite the failure of my marriage, I have never been anti-marriage. And despite my faith and Christian principles, I have never considered it my role to worry much about what goes on in the bedrooms of others. Heck, I can barely keep up with what happens in my own bedroom. If same-sex couples want to marry, I don't have a problem with it; it's really none of my business.
But I'm reminded of a few years ago when San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom ordered the county clerk to issue marriage certificates to same-sex couples using the same guidelines that heterosexual couples must follow. At the time, I had one openly gay coworker, and I asked her what she thought of the ruling.
"To be honest, I think it's weird," she said. "Marriage is for 'straighties.' I don't understand why gays and lesbians want any part of it."
She went on to say that there were a number of legal measures homosexual couples could take to protect joint assets and custody arrangements -- and she's right. In California, you can do just about anything in the courts.
But I don't think the same-sex marriage fight really rides much on legality. It seems to me that it's a question of acceptance. There are same-sex couples out there who want the same social status given to their committed relationships as is given to opposite-sex couples. It's a matter of principle more than necessity.
My pastor is among the camp of conservative Christians who believe that the acceptance of same-sex marriage erodes the sanctity of the sacrament. I have a hard time wrapping my brain around that belief. I know for a fact that the acceptance or rejection of same-sex relationships had absolutely no bearing on the failure of my marriage.
Marriage has a different level of meaning for everyone. To some of us, it truly is a sacred act of commitment. But to others, it really is nothing more than paper and a ring. I'm not sure we can blame that on the gay-rights movement. I think it's just a fact of our society. Everything nowadays is considered disposable. If anything, I am amazed that there is a segment of our disposable society that wants law created to allow for permanence -- and I applaud them for it.