"...only fair..." - This is not a healthy relationship; and, from my upbringing and sense of fairness, there is never a good reason for a man to hit a woman.

The verbal abuse and fear is enough reason for you to move into another phase of your life; and, to have a child subjected to this kind of environment brings more immediacy into the need for an exit plan. Period. Follow the advice below and "get out of Dodge fast..."

Leave and then, and ONLY then, try to work things out...

I speak from my own life here and I regret holding onto the hope for so long because the cycle of abuse has already taken hold with my 2 children (6 year old boy and 3 year old girl).

I made the mistake of putting an ultimatum in place instead of leaving first...and now I feel like I am stuck and forced to give him this last chance before I leave...

I'm still planning and preparing to leave at least, and I have enough backup from friends that if he hits me or our children even one more time then if I can't get a hold of the police, I can at least get a hold of a few friends to help me out (I even have my neighbors "on-watch" for the warning signs of him getting physical).

I still "allow" him to put holes into the walls ("gee, isn't it better the wall than you?" and "if you'd just shut up I wouldn't HAVE to be physical" are his excuses)...

Only because I don't have enough money or a place to go lined up...but it's in the process...

I don't have much faith that anything will change, so I'm still getting my ducks lined up as if I'm leaving...

I suggest at least calling an abuse line and get as much information as you can and then get out as soon as possible...don't wait 11 years like I have...

leave.  call an abuse help line when you can have privacy and listen to them.  get yourself safe and away from any and all abusive people.