…I’m a much better parent to one child than I am to two kids.
At least with these two kids, that is.
The infighting and constant squabbling and the feeling like I’m being torn in two has gotten so bad that my ex and I have talked about staggered custody arrangements - only in every scenario he’s proposed, I end up with at least one kid almost 100% of the time - and he sticks to the same percentages/schedules he already has, but just takes one kid instead of two (so he’d have one kid part of the weekend, then swap out for the other kid, for example.) As you might imagine, that’s kinda sorta a sticking point for me.
Besides, he’s got two adults at his house - and while his girlfriend shouldn’t be forced into caring for our kids, his household definitely provides more opportunities for ad hoc ‘divide and conquer’ as needed, doesn’t it?
Don’t get me wrong - we already actively look for every opportunity to do the ‘divide and conquer’ thing - my son’s actually at dad’s house this weekend dogsitting while they’re out of town, while my daughter and I enjoy a ‘girls only’ weekend. And most of the Wednesday night dinners with dad will be with just my younger child, as her brother has a scheduled teen program at our synagogue.
And it’s getting easier as my son gets pulled into activities at high school or out doing things with friends - as his sister puts it, “he can’t really bother me if he’s busy doing other stuff.”
But while I love and adore my children and am glad I have two kids in general - must we really all live together in the same house at the same time - all of the time?
Or do we all need to suck it up and deal, already?