After reading Mb's entry "Let's Stop the Dance" I have had alot of questions about how much to tell the kids. My kids are 12 and 10 and it really hurts knowing how much this is going to hurt them. We are planning on telling them together sometime this coming week.
My unhusband is going to be away in the middle east for a year (he leaves in June) and I am worried the kids will turn any resentment or anger they have about this divorce towards me while he's gone. This is going to be really hard to deal with because I feel just as much like a victim as they will.
It's always been his lying, his yelling, his abuse (verbal and physical) and now it's his cheating. They have seen some of his verbal abuse firsthand and have been through a split with us before when we almost got divorced two years ago.
I am completely prepared to deal with their pain and hurt and do my best to help them through it, but I don't know if I could handle dealing with any blame from them on top of my own grief. What should I say to them? How can I get it across that this is all his choice and I am hurting too without telling them details? And when do you tell them details, if ever? When they're adults?