I never thought I’d mourn the passing of the old Hollywood studio system which kept a lid on scandal, but considering the influence that movie stars have on the national consciousness it’s hard to celebrate the current anything-goes attitude. Is it even possible to imagine a time when a star like Ingrid Bergman had to actually flee the country after an adulterous affair with director Roberto Rossellini? Today she’d be celebrated on the cover of People.

     The reality is that stars’ lives have nothing to do with your life—they have resources you don’t have. Why feel sorry for Jennifer when Brad dumps her for Angelina. After all Jennifer is a beautiful, young, rich movie star.. She’ll probably be married to Jude Law, George Clooney or another heartthrob next year, while I (and maybe you) will still be surfing Match.com?.

I do have to admit to feeling sorry for Christie Brinkley when her husband dumped her for a teenager. After all she’s over fifty. But that was foolish. Christie is not going to have any trouble moving on.

The sad truth is that movie stars are not us, not even close. They live in a rareified atmosphere of wealth and fame that we ordinary folks can’t even imagine. In addition, actors are narcissistic by definition. Acting and performing in general attracts people who thrive on constant admiration. Their lifeblood is me-me-me.

How can two people who both need to be the center of attention at all times, who must be worshipped and adored, who are profoundly self-involved, make a marriage work? Who is going to do the worshipping and adoring after the first flush of infatuation is over? Who is going to make sacrifices for the relationship? Who is going to consider what’s best for the kids? This is why most Hollywood marriages end in divorce.

Ordinary people who make sacrifices to make their marriages work should be the role models for the stars, not the other way around.