Meeting goals despite of
Hello everyone, a whole week has passed since I was last able to write anything down on my journal. I've had a very hectic week as it was all about finals.Today was the last day of exams and I can proudly claim victory!!! I actually survived the semester of hell! I didn't think I was gonna make it. 16 credit hours, 8 of them in sciences plus the fact that I've also been trying to pass several college proficiency exams so that I can bridge over, it was overwhelming. I definitely didn't need my unhusband to leave me the last four weeks of it. Although now that I'm reflecting on the last couple of months, I can honestly say that life has not been too bad. Sure, I had doubts and I also struggled with motivating myself to get up everyday and function. I'm glad that I did. Today was the last day of classes and all my grades are in and I must say that I didn't do too bad. 3B's and 1A, My GPA will go down some but, hey at least I still made B's. I didn't deserve to get an A on the classes that I got B's from so I didn't even bother asking if there was anything I can do to bring the grades up. I mean, I wasn't there for half of my class sessions and life was just rough! So, I'm very thankful for what I did get.
As for my unhusband, we started marriage counseling a week ago and tomorrow is our second session. The first one was pretty much just background info of our relationship, I'm bracing myself for tomorrow. The weird thing is that every time he has seen me, he comments on my appearance and how good I look these days. Granted, I don't allow him to see me at less than perfect but it is puzzling to me on what this all means. We actually have had some long in- depth discussions about our relationship the last few days. I think I'm finally getting to know my unhusband. It's so weird that I couldn't talk to him this way when we were living together even if the doctors and counselors all recommended that we get to know each other again as my memory had been affected.(see my previous journals if you don't follow) I don't know how to take it when he tells me, "I'm open to however God will direct us." "But He'll have to change my view/mind on some things." What things? I don't know and I don't want to ask. I told him that even with my desire for our relationship to work, I still have a lot of things that I have to get past before I can even consider taking any steps. All that I know is that today I accomplished my goals despite of all the challenges I've been presented the last 4-6 weeks. Today, I'm drawing up a new set of goals and the only thing I know is, I'm resolved to meet those as well and not to allow personal difficulties to take my eye on the goal. I'm doing this for my kid and for myself and for today that's all I care about. I'd like my marriage to work out, but I'm also getting to the point that I'm prepared for whatever direction it will take. The only thing I pray for every night is to have peace with which ever way the pendulum swings.