Single, broke, and pregnant, Babble.com writer shares what it’s like to move back in with her parents
I learned a lot from all of you yesterday, after posting about Mother’s Day. It was Kat Wilder (thanks!) who pointed out that “Mom’s Day is a day for your kid to honor you — not a boyfriend, not your father, not your kid’s dad. And a day for you to honor your own mom.”
Maybe I do have too many expectations. Maybe I do need to be bolder, like “Greg Peck Fan,” who “gathered up the courage” this weekend and asked her boyfriend “if he’d take the kids on a quick trip somewhere so my daughter can buy a card and something small for me.” Hopefully, Mae will make me a card, and I’ll treasure it. My dream morning would be getting served hot coffee in bed, but I’ll wait a couple more years for that. Although Mae loves to cook, hot coffee sounds too dangerous.
Another thing that struck me is how many of you spend holidays with your parents — like me. Don’t you think this is an interesting side result of single parenting? Although we’re raising our kids outside of the traditional mother-father mold, most of our kids have incredibly close bonds with their grandparents. I can’t help but wonder if our kids’ relationships with their grandparents would look the same if we were married.
If you haven’t read Nan Mooney’s essay at Babble.com yesterday, she writes about the sometimes complicated but rewarding bonds that many of us, as single moms, have with our parents. At age 37, Nan – who describes herself as “single, broke, and pregnant” — moved back in with her parents.
“When I first moved back, I found it demoralizing to still need my parents help, no matter how much they wanted to provide it,” writes Nan.
“And I still feel a twinge of shame whenever I explain our circumstances to other new parents I meet. But I’m starting to realize that this experiment in multi-generational living was the right choice. I see him forming a bond with my mother, who’s taking care of him four mornings a week while I work. His face lights up when they play patty-cake together.”
Her four-month-old son, Leo, “gets to spend his early years surrounded by three people who love him as much as humanly possible. Given that, I’d say that moving back in with my parents was the second best decision I ever made.”
It’s a great essay about learning how to redefine your relationship with your parents. (Nan also alludes to the fact that dating again as a single mom when you’re living with your parents could be very tricky.)
What’s your relationship like with your parents?
Do you think that being a single parent has made the bond between your parents and your children especially deep?
