Nobody can love your child quite like you do. I know that my boyfriend cares about my daughter, but he just doesn't feel that fierce protection for her that I do and it is hard for me to accept. It is one of the hardest things for me about not being in a lifelong relationship with someone with whom I share children

I found out early Monday morning that one of the teachers at my daughter's school was arrested over the weekend for multiple counts of child molestation. I told my boyfriend while my daughter was still sleeping, before I knew if she had any contact with the teacher. His reaction was to try to get in a theoretical discussion with me about the possibility that the allegations were false and how this man's career would be destroyed. I was in no mood to worry about the teacher at that point. My only concern was my daughter.

Once I woke her up and felt reassured that she had not had any contact with that teacher, I was able to speak more rationally about the situation. My boyfriend apologized for being insensitive and claimed that his reaction was no different had it been his daughter, but I don't totally believe him. It is true that he is not as hands on with his children as I am with my daughter, but I still think his gut instinct would have been to worry about his daughter first and the merits of the case later.

At the same time, he is in some ways closer to my daughter than he is to his own. He certainly spends more time with my daughter and she is a lot nicer to him. They share an interest in music and science, and he is always very generous with her. But at the end of the day, he is not her father, she is not his daughter. And that bond that makes you want to protect them with everything you've got just isn't there.