Dogs and Cats
My poor dog. He's special. He's not a Bob Barker, or a Jon Cryer; he's just Cosmo. He's afraid of most people, and if the other people to Rob ratio is a little lopsided, he may act a little afraid of me. Oh, he'll want to say hi, but you never know when Rob's gonna turn on you and bite.
When Rob's attack!
Hang in there little buddy; I had the same problem in junior high with girls. It doesn't get much easier.
He's terrified of people. Generally I'm just amused by them. There was this one guy though. I passed him while I walked Thursday. He scared me. He was a large guy, probably 6'2" 350, large. Most of his weight he carried in his stomach. I think he was proud of that because his button down shirt that was half unbuttoned.
Now this trend setter went at it a little differently. Most of us who leave our shirt a little unbuttoned start from the top button. This guy had everything from the middle button down and pulled away like a bedroom curtain, so we could see his sun belly rise over the his pant's horizon.
The hairy dawn nearly blinded me. Cheer up Cosmo. Sometimes Daddy acts skittish too.
Cosmo was a little Skittish last time MyUnwife came by for paperwork He warmed up pretty quickly but he still seemed unsure.
"It's ok to talk to her Daddy, right?"
I felt a little sorry. Then again the cat who's supposedly "mine" wouldn't come out of hiding when I went over to do my taxes. I can only guess at the horror stories his mommy has been telling him.
"You're daddy's an evil bastard. Here, I caught this tuna just for you."
That's the difference between cats and dogs. Dogs don't care.
"Well dad I don't really care if you say she peed in my water. She's petting me now, and her hands smell like steak."
She is an evil genius!
So I ask, do we resemble our pets in the divorce? She's got cats and claws, I've got a dog and we shed. I tried to help him with his shedding thing this weekend. He sheds in Pomeranian sized clumps. If I don't brush him and throw out the hair, it looks like I'm running a kennel by the end of the summer. I brush him, he looks clean and keeps his rep with the bitches.
Yesterday I wanted to brush him. I thought he'd like that. Searching the house, I couldn't find the brush. It's normally in on of the Drawers of Many Wonders. It's not there now. It's not anywhere. I searched everywhere twice.
I know I've seen it…
We had one for the cats, one for the dog and I can't find either. Finally I send an email to MyUnwife. Maybe she's why I haven't seen it.
Hey,
Do you have both the pet brushes? It’s not a big deal, I only ask because I’m locked in that “I could swear I’ve seen it,” circle.
I’m gonna go check the microwave table again…
Rob
She replied a little later that she did in fact have both brushes. There was no obligatory NYA! But she did offer to let me have Cosmo's brush back.
Ah ha! That's how she got the lamb and rice smell in her hair the last visit!
Seeing how our economy balances precariously on the proliferation rate of pet brushes, I emailed that I might get it, but I'd probably just buy him a new one. Cosmo's a good boy. I may not get an Xbox, but he deserves a new brush.
She LOLed back, and I LOLed her LOL. It was tail wagging butt sniffing fun; everybody was happy. Even Cosmo, he didn't know he was missing a brush.
I thought about this exchange with MyUnwife, and I compared it to the last time I found something missing:
Why did you take the blender I bought before going to college and leave me with the one Anonymous Friend gave you?
Just curious.
Yeah, I actually took an hour to send that, and then it went through 3 rewrites. I couldn't find a way to make the word "Bitch" sound friendly. Believe me when I say, "I tried--hard." Her reply was consolatory, but equally as friendly. Kind of "I'm sorry I stepped on your tail, you probably shouldn't have left it exposed."
Now I'm kind of like the dog: I remember that she fed me once. Then again, I remember other things that happened too. I don't lay on my side and gnaw at them though. There's no sense in giving myself a bald spot. Cosmo agrees. He'd like a good brushing, but he'll be happy if he has somebody he's not skittish around.
You and me both buddy. You and me both...
