I have been up since 5am, I need to be writing for my term papers which are both due on Friday (tomorrow) and I've yet to write anything concrete down. It has been a 3 hour long reflection of what my life is all about these days. "Unwritten", is exactly what I would say my life is at present. I've always been a very optimistic person, I usually don't sit around staring at the ceiling wondering what am I to do? These last few weeks (OMG! I actually made it! In 4 days,my unhusband has been out of the house for 4 weeks!) I've done a lot of staring at the walls and ceiling. I believe that the situation has actually made me grow in ways I would not have dreamt  was capable of. Yes, everyone is right when they told me to stay busy. Boy, have I been. When he left it felt like my life took a stand still and the world seemed to have gotten smaller (at least for a week). Once I found out a way to vent my feelings (Thank God for divorce360.com) things started to go way I needed them to. I have had a lot of ups and down during the last few weeks and you guys have been so wonderful to share those with me. As for my blank page , I think I'm ready to start writing now, and I'm starting to think the same is going for my life. I think I see the sun coming out as I look out my window and it gives me hope for my life. I know that dark clouds will be around later and there's gonna be thunderstorms tonight, but I think I'm just gonna enjoy this moment of sunshine that I have. I'm gonna write as perfect as I possibly can and I know that when I proof it later I'll recognize my mistakes,hopefully they won't be that bad. I know now that I can live life without him, it would be nice if he's in it but the most important thing that I've realized is that I still have my life to live for.  Now don't get wrong, I still hurt but my wound has stoped bleeding for now. It's still raw and painful but at least for now there's no active bleed on it. The only thing I'm sure of is how I'm doing at the present. I've been learning to live like that for the last month you know. It has all been a matter of priorities for me, I've learning to take care of now and not worry about later. As they say, "the best laid plans always  gets messed up". I have started to revise my plans for my future but that's all that they are plans. In the meantime I'm gonna take care of what I need to do for today and then later on check and see if my plans are working out for me and if they aren't then I just know that it's up to me to change things around. The only thing that I know will never change is God's love for me and that's good enough to get me through each day.