I am a 48 yr old woman who was married for 27 yrs when my husband walked out with my 12yr old d and my 17 yr old s. I was shocked and devastated. To this day he blames me for everything but I no longer drink his red kool-aid.
I know we all have faults but not once did I betray him ,or bad mouth him to anyone, or lie to him. I am now divorced and my daughter lives with her dad which just breaks my heart but as always he is the master of deception and she thinks he is a God.
She does not know about his affairs or the lies or the abuse . I am trying to get over the abandonment and the abuse but it is difficult. I have been on my own for a yr and divorced since Jan 08.
It is nice to have peace in my life with him gone. No one lies to me and I never feel crazy unless I have to speak with him. I have been nice and compliant towards him but have no contact .
He has such anger dripping from his soul that is scares me. He can lie and abuse without a trace of guilt. He has slashed my tires and my leather seats on my car and has continued to let the air out of the tires on a monthly basis. Whenever he is upset.He comes off like he is soft spoken and in control of himself but underneath there is a volcano waiting to erupt.
He does scare me and yet I am here in the same town with him for the next 4 yrs until my daughter is 18. Not sure I can mentally deal with his garbage but have been dx with PTSD due to him and his behavior and threats.
I am not sure how to move on. I have been married for so long and loved this man with all my heart. How do you love another or even trust another person. I have had all the hurt I can take for a lifetime and while I want to spend the rest of my life with someone I am not sure I can ever get to that point.
The thought of dating or kissing someone other than my ex husband actually makes me physically ill.

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