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Well I decided............... 


Today I decided that the marriage is over. I am so unhappy it hurts to even move.

I have been married for 18 years on July 6th. I have five children.... 17 years down to a 5 year old. I have been trying to save this marriage for about 3 years now. It doesn't matter how much you try to save the marriage if one of the spouses just doesn't love the other one.

When you ask and they say that they "like you sometimes" after 17 years of marriage, I beg you to not spend another year trying, desperatly hoping for the other to start loving you again.

When asked how come we don't just end our misery, and the answer is divorce is just too much work. Let's us fix things...... Don't. Because another year later the marriage is still a mess and he still doesn't love you and it is still a lot of work.

Arin


by arin    
Posted on 4/28/2008 12:59 PM
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Comments for "Well I decided..............."  (2) (You must be logged in to answer)
I know exactly how you feel but after being divorced I now wish I hadn't.  There are two  books and workshops offered by the authors of "Getting the love you want" and His Needs Her Needs" and supposedly they have been very successful in getting couples to realize why they fell in love in the first place and then saving their marriages.You might want to investigate these first and then go with it.  Unless there has been physical abuse, he must have loved you once.  I was abused physically and just couldn't take it anymore but wasn't aware of these books otherwise I might have just tried again rather than turn my life upside down after 22 years of marriage.

  by baal
Posted on 5/2/2008 2:02 AM

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Very wise.  I tried making mine work over and over and all I kept getting was heartache.  This last time he told me he didn't cherish me anymore.  Well, gee, what was my first clue...  All the crap he did to me all these years?  How it was all about him and never me?  We have been married 13 years but it feels so much longer.  It is hard to imagine being without him but even harder to imagine being with him and suffering like this all the time.  Much better to be without him.  It sounds like you are on the same page; a person can only endure so much pain.  Good luck!

  by Emeraldsky
Posted on 4/28/2008 10:19 PM

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