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Wind takekn out of my sails

Well I was feeling pretty good until I just had a conversation with a very close friend of mine. She read me the riot act and gave me a tongue lashing that is still stinging. She thinks I'm whining and complaining about my situation. I should be doing something about making it better and that there are hundreds of men who would love to be in my situation. There are people with Cancer that have better attitudes than me. I think to a point she is right but I also think I'm in the process of sorting out a lot of feelings and trying to figure out what to do. Am I really that bad? I know I can't sit in my cave in the basement and sulk but I also know I have to figure out what to do. I'm exploring a LOT of new territory and I'm learning as I go. Wow! I thought my best friend would cut me just a bit of slack but I guess not. Shouldn't I get just a little credit for how I've progressed so far? Well, that wasn't sugar coated and there is no doubt where she stands. She is very disappointed in me.
Now I'm wondering, do I need and deserve the lecture I just received? Maybe I do and I'm not seeing it. I sure was hoping my best friend would be here to support me.
Oh well...

by RichBrewer 214 Posts

Posted on 4/23/2008 10:30 PM

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Comments for "Wind takekn out of my sails" (3) (You must be logged in to answer)

Wow!
I just have to thank everyone for the nice supportive comments that you have made to me.
I was feeling very guilty about my feelings until I read these comments. I shouldn't spend my life mopeing around but it is OK and natural to feel the way I do. The key is to move forward and not dwell on those feelings which I am.

Mb,
Your Brother was a brave and wonderful human being. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. His words meant a lot to you and now they mean a lot to me. I can't tell you how much I appreciate that you would share those comments with me. Thank you so much.

Starr,
You are right. I won't be confiding in her anymore. At this point I don't even know if we will remain friends. I just don't need this right now.

I think I want to expend some time and energy finding better friends. You know, I've already found quite a few friends here!
Thank you so much!

by RichBrewer 214 Posts
Posted on 4/24/2008 12:18 PM

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Rich,

Friends should bring you up, not down. If your friend does not want to listen to you and give constructive suggestions, maybe you should not confide in her???

FRIENDS: Love the ones who treat you right and forget about the others.

We are all here for you. You are making progress, keep up the good work.

by starr1 187 Posts
Posted on 4/24/2008 9:43 AM

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So sorry you had a verbal beating from your friend. How can someone tell us how to grieve? How can someone tell us what is appropriate and whether we have the "right" attitude or not.
In regards to the comment about people w/cancer having a better attitude - some do === some don't. The real question is - what does their situation have to do with yours? Nothing.
When my brother was dying he told me that we are all entitled to our pain and that he didn't have a monopoly on human suffering. I was still "allowed" to feel bad when I did and there was no punishment for that. He also said - there will always be someone worse off AND better off than you. Has nothing to do with you.

You are allowed to feel what you feel & how you need to feel it. I don't know how long this has been for you - but it sounds like you are trying to make strides forward. Just keep thinking about how far you have come and know that she really only wants the best for you. AND for her. Sometimes our suffering makes people very uncomfortable and they want us to be done with it already!

You do what you need to do and know there are a lot of us who know from where you come. We will support you.
Best of luck!

by Mb 266 Posts
Posted on 4/24/2008 12:17 AM

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