How do you get over betrayl? 

The pain gets so overwhelming that you think it will kill you but -surprise!- you keep breathing.  It is so hard for me to keep going but I have 2 kids to think about and it forces me to move.  I talked to my soon-to-be-ex today and it is like talking to a cold stranger.  I feel like such a fool for taking him back two summers ago. 

I always took him back everytime to try to work things out because I love him and also for the kids, even though it was against my better judgement.  He has always had a strong pattern of selfishness and doing things that hurt me.  Now this time I find out he's had an affair and has lied to me about it (very convincingly, with tears in his eyes that there was never anyone else) for the past couple years.  He actually admitted it to me this time because he is going to war and I guess he finally got a conscience.  And he wants a divorce.  I don't even get the satisfaction of asking for the divorce.  It almost makes it hurt more, I feel more abandoned.  Is that silly?

And it is so hard going through such strong emotions like this when the one person you might normally turn to for comfort is the one causing the pain.  I can feel so lonely and miserable sometimes that it feels unbearable.  I am trying really hard not to hate him, but it is so hard not to be bitter.  Thank goodness for close family and friends, I would probably be lost if it weren't for them.  I have been trying to find things that bring me a small measure of comfort, like listening to classical music and reading scriptures.  But it is difficult to find comfort in activities yet, I hope soon I will feel happy again.