It has been officially two weeks since my life got turned upside down. My emotions for the most part has been pretty composed. The last two days I just don't know what I'm doing wrong because panic attacks has been winning over me and i need to get a grip of myself. I don't know if they have anything to do at all with the fact that I've seen my unhusband everyday since Saturday. Those meeting has not been beneficial for me at all. Each time were together everything feels right, then of course one of us have to leave and it breaks my heart every time. Last night, I finally found it in me to tell him in a very calm non-accusatory way that I can't keep seeing him everyday because it is devastating for me and the next few weeks are very important for me ,that I can't afford the distractions or dramas. He was very understanding as usual. He told me that he realizes how hard it is for me and that it isn't any of his intention to hurt me in anyway. I wish I can believe his words. I do my best not to focus on what he had done and the fact that he doesn't feel any need to disengage from anything that can connect him to his mistress is killing me. We agreed to work on our marriage thru counselling and somehow arrived at the conclusion that we both need to do this even just for the sake of the kids. But he refuses  to let her go. I am very torn and confused. I don't know what is right for me anymore. I told him that until he does, I won't bee seeing him in person except thru the therapy sessions. I don't know what to do to show him how much this hurts me and my willingness to work with him is slowly dissipating. My daughter asked me yesterday what I want for Mother's Day, I told her I simply want a magic wand that I can wave up in the air and everything will be alright. Oh! I wish life was so simple. Here's a thought everyone, why don't wave my magic wand for all of you out who are experiencing the exact sentiments that I am, and just close your eyes for a minute and attempt to remove yourselves from your situation and just focus on the good things you have going for you at the present. Here's to wishing you all a peaceful night! God Bless!