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New York, New York, a Helluva Town 

-  Except for that whole "no-fault" divorce thing.

As someone who often feels suffocated for no reason (I'm weird) I want to feel that, if I were married, I could, at ANY given moment, get a divorce for NO reason whatsoever, just because I felt like it, at the drop of a hat.  Unfortunately, I live in NY and they want what in legal terms is known as a "reason."

Denying no-fault divorce is ridiculous, in my humble opinion.  Marriages can span fifty years, longer.  As human beings are living longer, so are they staying married longer, and who's to say that over time feelings just won't fade?  And isn't it kind of lofty to assume that how you feel at twenty-two is how you'll feel at thirty-two, let alone seventy-two?

But no.  NY says that if you want to separate from your (in)significant other, you need a reason.  So I wanted to know: what qualifies as a good reason?

According to the law experts on A&E's American Justice, reasons can be anything, as long as they are UNCONTESTED.  Which basically means that you can site anything: infidelity, verbal or physical abuse, alienation of affection, etc. but the other party has to say that it's true.  Which is ridiculous, because what about those crazy husbands (or wives) who for whatever reason refuse a divorce as a way of keeping the marriage alive?  I'm not talking about the consoling spouse who says "Please reconsider; let's work it out," but rather the spouse who uses the law as a way to keep the other person legally bound.

True, divorce is something that, when it happens, isn't always wanted by both parties.  But who would want to be with someone who didn't want to be with them?  Maybe you think that if they are just forced to stay for a few more months, they'll change their mind.  But if they have to be forced into staying in the first place, there's a problem.  The whole thing makes me feel trapped, and I'm not even married! 

In its defense, the law (not allowing no-fault divorce) is supposed to (they claim) dissuade couples from rushing into a divorce in the heat of some temporary argument.  Which, I suppose, is nice, but I still feel like it takes away from my own personal freedom to legally separate from whomever I please.  Am I alone in this?
by AndreaNostramo  173 Posts 

Posted on 4/22/2008 11:15 AM
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Tags: no-fault , New York , NY , no-fault divorce
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Comments for "New York, New York, a Helluva Town"  (2) (You must be logged in to answer)




Ohh yeah I see what you're saying. New York DOESN'T allow no-fault divorce, I think is what I meant to say.  Good, thanks, I'll edit it to fix that.
by AndreaNostramo   173 Posts
Posted on 4/22/2008 12:39 PM
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I am not trying to be condescending or rude in any way, but I think your term of "no-fault" is used incorrectly.

New York is "fault" state, meaning that you must provide a reason for divorce, whereas where I live, Nebraska, it is a "no-fault" state where you only have to site "irreconscilable differences" and do not have to have a legal reason.

Sorry about correcting your terminology and again, I do not mean it to be rude - just trying to clarify.

I do agree that it really is a big debate, but in my opinion and circumstances, a "no-fault" divorce is a better option.  There are times that the communication is broken, you've become 2 different people, and if you have tried to reconcile but it didn't work, why force yourself into a unhappy marriage just because you cannot truthfully claim one of these legal faults as grounds for divorce?  Make a divorce tough to get, sure, but leave an option open that the differences are just too great to overcome.

In NE, a judge can deny your petition for divorce, even if you claim irreconcilable difference and actually order both parties into marital counseling, so for those that think a "no-fault" divorce is so easy and is just giving up, it really is not as easy as you may think and a judge has the right to deny a request if they feel there may be a chance to salvage it.

So, a no-fault can be a good thing, and I think a judge can decide if there has been effort to salvage the marriage and agree to a no-fault divorce if there is no abuse or witholding of affection or adultery, but that is just my humble opinion...
by Aimless   764 Posts
Posted on 4/22/2008 12:30 PM
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