How much more can one person handle 

I got married for the 3rd time 5 yrs ago.  I met him on the internet.  He was everything I could of ever wanted in a man.  Love, tenderness, caring. We could sit for hours talking.  This was in NY.  Then my father came ill, and we moved to WA so I could be closer to him.  My husband reluctantly let my 25 year old daughter moved in with us.  As she had no where else to go.  Then it all went downhill from there.
He started playing online xbox and struck up a friendship with a lady.  He said "they were just friends". And that he talked to her about the problems him an my daughter were having cause he couldnt talk to me.  He said my daughter had an "attitude".  The attitude he saw was my daughter very upset at what he was doing after I went to bed.  He would get up and get online.  Write to this "friend: till wee hours of the morning.  He texted her all the time on his cell phone.  He put a lock on his phone, and changed his passwords on emails.  He denied anything was goin on.  I found letters he wrote to her on line that had nothing to do with my daughter.  But more about what the two of them were going to do together when they met.  Very graphic letters.  He sent her gifts.  From our joint account.  Sorry, I am making this so long... its just that so much has happened in 6 months.  I collapsed at work due to the stress, and found out while I was in ER he was texting "her".   I ended up filing for divorce on Xmas eve.  We work at same place so that made it even more difficult.  He moved out and its been a fight over who gets what ever since.  During this time, I had another episode at work and collapsed.  Then I ended up in the hospital for gall bladder surgery.  And he still writes "her".  But now he blames me for what is happening.  Just because my daughter moved in and I apparently didnt keep her from giving him "attitude". Well long story short.. I just lost my job due to attendance issues for taking yet another day off to go to divorce court.   Apparently if you work for a temp agency, you have no rights.  And no doctors notes taking you out of work will help you keep your job.  I am again sorry I rambled on... but I am overwhelmed, emotionally and physically drained.  I thought that the divorce would of been over an I could get on with my life..but he showed up with a lawyer that I was not informed about.  I may lose my apartment, car and my sanity before this is all over.