Is it ever gonna get better 

   Today had been a very long and hard day for me. I started the day with my unhusband picking  up myself and my daughter so that she can take her college placement exams. She's furious with her Dad and refuses to talk to him. It was a surprise when at the last minute, she consented to being in the car with him. Once we got to the university, my daughter decided she didn't want any chaperone at all during the exams. So my husband and I got stuck together not really knowing what to do for 6 hours. It was very awkward to start with, it's as if I was with a stranger. Anyway, we elected to remain in public places because we both didn't want to start bickering at each other(which happens a lot when we're in our house). This was a day for our daughter. Surprisingly enough, I was even able to sit across the table from him and take a few bites of my food without getting sick to my stomach. Afterwards, he was even able to help me review for my state board exams. It almost felt like the old days, but as soon as that feeling came over me, something in me also said, "wake up, it isn't like the old days. Never will be. As soon as that came into my thoughts, I was back to being withdrawn and detached. 3pm came FINALLY! and we picked up my daughter. I was amazed at the ease of going back to feeling like before he became the "un", He isn't apologetic about the affair. To him it's now a fact of our lives. He told me that I need to face it. Oh! I wanted to slap him, but I didn't. I didn't even have the enrgy to argue. I am so tired, I feel drained both physically and mentally.
   My misery climbed to the roof in the afternoon. it was his great grandmother's b-day. My whole "un" in-laws were at her house. I didn't know they were all coming.  So besides being miserable, I also had to be on my best behavior. Boy! that was one of the hardest things to ever have anyone to do. he then addresses me as his "wife' when he asked his cousin about something that involved me. I found it very weird to hear him say " Ask my wife." Does that mean anything? In the end, nothing is resolve and the kids and I drove home away the party. Then again, this terrible feeling of isolation and betrayal came over me again. Ahhh! I'd give anything to get over that like yesterday.
It seems so much harder for me because  I see him almost 2-4e a week to take our son to  baseball How do I detach myself without hurting the kids?