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another sleepless night 

again, I woke up and crying.  I have not sleep well over the month.  I try to think about what he did to me in the past.  He cheat on me 4 times and I took him back.  Now, he is leaving.  I got a attoney and I just need sihgthe separation paper.  My EX (will be) seems like relived.  He is moving on so quick and I still straggle in my feeling for him.  He is two step ahead.  I know he is not one for me. I realy want to move and start my life again.  Right now, I am waiting my son's school is over.  Another 7 weeks to go.  I don't know I can handle it.  I want to run away form here. But I want my son to spend time with his father.  He loves his father so much.  He hate what his doing, but he loves him.  He know what is going on and why. He is 11 years old. Do you think I am mean to explain to him why and fact what I did and what his father did in the past, and he is now dating? 
My husband call me everyday how we are doing, He came to see son when he can and he take care th house.(pool, mow the yard). I want to see him and hear his voice.  That's why I want to move.  He want to us to stay in here, so he can take care of us.  He said he don't love me, but he care about me and want to help.  I don't understand it. That's why I am difficult to moving on. I hate to see he is  happy so quick, but other hand i wish his happiness.  I feel I am stupid and weak, because i am still love him and he know that
by okihana  3 Posts 

Posted on 4/16/2008 12:16 AM 		Get AlertsGet Alerts!
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Comments for "another sleepless night"  (4) (You must be logged in to answer)
Stupid and weak?  No, rather human and hurt.  I am in the same situation.  I have to wait 7 weeks to move and restart with my 4 children.  It stinks.  I'm hurt from the time I put in and work.  I worked hard to undo my own screw up 7 yrs ago.  Was it a waste?  Nah, I learned alot and we grew.  Time has passed and the decision to create a situation I can't live with has bappened.  He knew when he did it what the outcome would be.    So, I sit knowing the road I am taking is the only choice I have left.

My kids know that we are headed to divorce.  They are 9,11,13 and15.  They keep asking what brought this up.  There was no huge fight.  They didn't know what happened.  I learned this years ago, never be the one to tell your child of your partner's choices.  Make that fall in their lap.  They destroyed the marriage.  They need to own their mistakes.  I know a person who informed their children of an infidelity by screaming it in the front yard.  At the time, they were all young.  They never forgot.
by good4now   8 Posts
Posted on 4/16/2008 2:33 PM
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Thank you for the all coment you guys gave to me.  I live one day at the time. Yes, i have a moments, but i will be strong.  Hopely, I will get through this soon or later.  Even it is ok that i still love him.  Someday, my pain will be heal.   I am learning from this experience and grow up. I try to forgive him and myself.  I know it is lnog way to go, but i will belived in my future.  And focuse on my son and me.
by okihana   3 Posts
Posted on 4/16/2008 11:38 AM
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"..." - I fully agree with Mb that you are not "stupid and weak"; and, more to the point, you should never think of yourself in this way.


All of us can have moments in which are ability to make a good decision ways against emotions; which, of course, can cloud our judgment. Furthermore, moments of weakness can be overwhelming when you are experiencing life-changing events. The goal is to overcome these and become stronger, learning from our experiences; and, ultimately, not making similar mistakes in the future.


And, yes, you should encourage the positive interaction of your child with his father. Allow them to best define how they will grow together in the midst of your marital changes.

Wish you well and know that many within this community have come a long way and many still have a long way to go on the path of separation and divorce...
by bp   1241 Posts
Posted on 4/16/2008 10:13 AM
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