My former editor at
Pregnancy magazine is writing a piece about different kinds of families — yes, as in the mother-daughter team we’ve got over here — and she recently asked if she could interview me. Since I’m going on Year Seven as a Single Mom, I haven’t obsessed about the Daddy question in a while… so here goes.
“How did you first talk to your child about her family? How old was your child? What did you say?”
Well, my baby was only seven months old when her father split town, but I already knew that was a precocious one. I’ve always been the kind of woman who likes to be prepared (”over prepared,” my ex-boyfriends would probably say), so I went on a search for single parent books.
Here are a couple of my favs:
WHO’S IN A FAMILY?, by Robert Skutch
THE FAMILY BOOK, by Todd Parr
I started reading single mama picture books to Mae as soon as I realized that her father wasn’t coming back (which was after her first birthday came and went; yes, it was looking quite certain). And guess what? She has never asked me that question: “Do I have a daddy?”
Maybe she will one day. Or, maybe it’s because I laid out the facts for her, clear and simple. Or maybe it’s because here, in the Bay Area, single parent families are so… normal.
Of course, other kids have asked her, “Do you have a daddy?” (You should see me eavesdropping outside the door.) Mae has been very matter of fact: “Yes. He lives far away. My mom takes care of me.”
Please tell me: Has your child asked, “Do I have a daddy?”
What have you said?
P.S. I recently discovered that Mae’s father occasionally comments on this blog (he signed his name “Big Guy,” which was my nickname for him when we were together), as well as other single mom blogs (he signed his name, “Mae’s Daddy.”) I wish him the best. I truly do.
