One of the most difficult aspects of divorce, in addition to the emotional piece and the children, is the financial part. I know very few people that end a marriage without a lot of stress over the finances of it. Help ease some of the stress by getting comfortable with the numbers:

- Make an individual budget by going through your checkbook and credit card statements over 3 months and seeing where you actually spend your money. Make a spread sheet with all the different categories; housing, insurance, groceries, entertainment, clothing, furniture, utilities, personal care, phone, child care, debt, etc. Add the numbers over 3 months and divide by 3, that average is a good marker for what you generally spend per month. Make a total down at the bottom to get at your nut (the minimum you will need each month to pay your bills).

- Now look at the income side. Do you make enough in your job to cover your nut? How much will you need in child support or alimony (or how much of those can you afford to pay) to be able to at least break even. Do you need to get a second source of income or a higher paying job? Where can you cut costs in your budget? Less dinners out? Cheaper haircuts?

- What is the value of your investments? Your 401k, IRA, stock holdings, property, etc. How can it be fairly divided between you and your ex? Once you know what part is yours, keep track of how your holdings are doing each month in a spread sheet so that you can make changes when needed and always know what is available to you in case of an emergency.

- What's your debt level and what's your plan for paying it off? Whether it's one year or ten years, have a goal for being debt free. Even if you just pay $10 more than the minimum due, you will pay it off faster and save yourself money. Is there a lower interest loan you can take out to pay off the higher interest loans?

This is just a start, but demystification is the first step. More on finances to come...