Well here i set within the first 24 hours and i made it im ok! Im well i don't know what i am i think that im lost in some aspects thinking trying to be happy when im with our daughter trying not to break down in a big ugly mess when i see our friends at a resturant i went to, to not see any of our friends and not see any of his friends. Tomarrow is the first day he is going to be seeing our daughter in the make shift deal we have going on, she's 2 i give her credit though she is a smart 2 she is a noticeable 2, she has noticed that when she wakes up and the man she spends the first hour of the day isn't there. The first question out of her mouth is where's daddy. Routine's are best for children so her's got started a long time ago well as long as you can get when your 2.  Wake up eat with dad, go wake mom up get a bath, then the nanny comes over till about 7pm play with dad, mom tucks me in Im asleep within 10 min to be that age again.  Anyway as she is noticing that dad isn't here i let her call him thinking this will make this easier since i can't lie can't lie to my daughter can't lie to a 2yr old i could have said he's at work which would have been true for the most part but really i didn't want to i wanted him to explain himself to her.  She calls asks dad what's he doin and that was that so easy for a 2yr old.  When the nanny got  here i thought this is a good day for me to have off, i went shopping meet with some friends for lunch and then it happened i saw a mutual friend.  They asked why hubby was staying with his best friend last night why hubby was going to be staying there for awhile. My response was well thats something that im not ready to talk about or really get into till i have all those anwsers my self.  I was told that i sounded rude and you know i really didn't care. Anyway after the questions after the day and after the wondering 2 yr old I made it im still standing. Not yet falling to pieces, and i really think that is because I found somewhere to vent somewhere to talk somewhere to just let go without all the nagging questions.