...or can I? 

When my ex and I first split up, I had a fairly high-powered job, with a salary to match.  Luckily, I was able to flex my schedule as much as I needed to in those early days in order to cope with taking on all of the responsibility at home - I worked early in the morning from home in order to handle daycare drop-offs & worked late at night in order to justify leaving at the dot of five each day.

Plus, I had cash to smooth out the wrinkles - a regular housecleaning service, for example.  Money for summer camps for the school aged child.  But I still felt like I was constantly juggling, and I didn't feel like I could really pay attention to my kids' emotional needs.  Plus there was that whole 'working late at night' bit...

When I first lost my job when the tech market cratered, it was a relief on some levels.  I could focus on the kids.  Walk them to and from school, or go on field trips.  So I made a conscious decision to take two big steps backwards when I re-entered the job market (a decision that was aided by the continuing tech slowdown, of course.) 

I would be a worker bee - but I could work from home as needed.  I'd be responsible for myself - but I wouldn't supervise or direct others.  And we'd long since tightened our belts (and I'd changed my money mindset), so the smaller salary would certainly sustain us. 

And that was just fine.  More than fine, actually - I could spend time serving on a board for a local educational non-profit.  Set up a creative blogging outlet for myself.  And still be involved at the kids' schools, or do the summer camp shuffles.

Until - it wasn't so fine with me any more.  So now, I'm back doing my managerial thing as of today - at the same place where I used to be one of the staff I'm now managing, luckily.  My calendar's now crammed full of meetings, I have a great team of people I get to support, and a host of new responsibilities.  And it's the mental shot in the arm I knew I needed.  

But since I still have the teenager and the 'drama mama' nine year old - not to mention the work with the non-profit and the assorted kid responsibilities and and and - I'll still get to flex my schedule when I absolutely need to, or work from home when it makes sense. 

This time around, though, I know I can't necessarily juggle any faster.  So it's time to make some decisions about how to juggle smarter - and maybe to think about deliberately dropping a ball or two along the way.  So while I'll keep the early morning work sessions (it helps me better plan my day), I'll probably skip the midnight oil piece. 

And I'll get better at tossing the ball to someone else.  So the first order of business, once the new salary kicks in? 

Monthly supplemental housecleaning service, here we come...!