I know I sound excited about moving, but I’m also scared to death. I’m not much of a risk taker, and this is a big one.

It affects my income source in a big way. I’m excited, but scared. I have so much work to do to make this happen. So much downsizing.
 
My fibromyalgia is not cooperating and I’m hurting pretty badly. What if I can’t physically get us all packed and ready to go? What if I am sick and can’t clean the new place and the old one? What if finances fall to pieces on me, and I can’t run a downsized version of my business in the new place?

Where does that lead someone with so many health issues and a car payment, two kids, and lots of other bills? So many ifs. But I’ve jumped, and it’s going to happen. The non-risk taker is risking it all in hopes that in the long run things will be better. And we have to look at the big picture, too, or remain stagnant forever.

The single mom in me keeps whispering in my ear that this is too big a chance, that I have two kids to care for financially and I need to stay where I’m at. The household accountant keeps reminding me of how drastically our living expenses will be reduces and that I might actually be able to afford to find a job with health insurance which I so badly need.
 
The teenage daughter in the house hates any kind of change and is very upset with me. I think she’s equating this with when we had to move here to this rental because we lost the house she’d lived in most of her life because I couldn’t afford it on our own. That was very hard on her, because we lived next to friends she’d had since she was two, and because she felt like her father let her down by leaving and leaving us with a house we couldn’t afford but she loved dearly. I hope she can see these are two different things and that this should be an improvement if the risk works out in my favor. And in my heart I think it will.

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