"I wanted to be loved and not have to compete with anyone else." My brain had interpreted all of the details that I accumulated in a “stealth” manner, listening to every word attempting to find “hidden meanings,” writing down all incidents of calls with “inconsistencies of 'fact' or reason.” And, in the end, I discovered that I was chasing after something “very real” but it had exhausted me; and, more to the point, it exhausted my spouse that was attempting to hide the reality with words that needed to be constantly tracked so that she would not trip up. Apparently, all “habitual liars” will in one way or another be discovered; although, many become more adaptive to their environment, more skilled at their “craft.” I noticed this of my spouse as I truthfully revealed my findings on each and every occurrence. Still, we were both exhausted; and, I had a so-called “code of honor” that I had somehow discovered to be a line that I would not cross. When did our marriage end? The day that she asked me for a divorce? She still states that she does not want a divorce at this time but she does not seem to pursue anything else with me, either. Anyhow, that was then... and, I do thank God that I have somehow found a way to sleep at night, I am no longer exhausted competing with myself. I wonder sometimes if we will ever put our relationship back together... It just is not as pressing now as it was then.