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Do You Have Control Over His Cheating? 

I am always reading on the internet and many times I have seen articles that state "how you can keep your mate from cheating", however, it disturbs me, since I have gone through it, that you cannot always control what your mate is doing. Many marriages have problems, some that are fixable and some are not. In the instant that you have a marriage that has problems, you need to actually accept that there are problems and seek ways of trying to repair them. Some are not repairable, but some are. What about the marriages that seem to be really going well and your mate cheats? That was what happened to me. I don't understand how some of these articles that read "how you can keep your mate from cheating" when honestly, you cannot control another person. You'd like to hope that your mate wouldn't do that to you, but really, I tried to control the other woman from calling my husband and it simply did not work. Maybe it's really only yourself that you can control in the hopes that he won't cheat.
by deborah-trevino  633 Posts 

Posted on 10/6/2008 9:35 AM
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Tags: cheating , infidelity , husband , marriage
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Comments for "Do You Have Control Over His Cheating?"  (4) (You must be logged in to answer)




I agree with blueb..it is to try to maintain your relationship so that the cheating does not happen. I am sure that it works in some cases but some people just cannot handle being with one person.
My ex told me once that he was unlike many , who were out for the thrill of the first time...that excitement of not knowing what they are like...etc. He was mentally ill but I really think he was right. Some people never get enough of that new relationship excitement..we have all been there at least once . Once that is over they need that again. Those are the ones who should never get married..
We can't control their actions. All we can do is look at ourselves...try to be the best spouse we can be...and not beat ourselves up if we or they make a stupid choice...
by mtnvly   2418 Posts
Posted on 10/6/2008 7:41 PM
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My husband has cheated for ten years and there is no way you can keep a cheater from cheating.  It is a conscience choice - and he's making bad choices.  Don't sleep with him and let him give you an STD.  Just get out.  Take care of yourself.
by scared27years   115 Posts
Posted on 10/6/2008 7:20 PM
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Deborah,

I agree with you that you can't control other people.  Either they have the quality of character where they wouldn't cheat or they don't.

I do