Why won't he just go? 

After posting earlier today I found myself reading other blogs and completely empathizing with everyone.  What we do for love!  I have come to the conclusion that my husband has been isolating me from people for many years.  I don't have any friends.  He has always found a way to ruin my relationships with other women.  His usual method is to make himself emotionally available to them and that usually leads to problems in their marriages and then my friendship with them is over.  Most of his own friends' wives hate him.  There are very few couples that we socialize with because the wife of the pair cannot tolerate my husband.  His drinking is a huge issue.  Huge.  It is the thing that ruins most of our friendships and causes virtually all of our fights.  I have one adult son left at home.  He's always had problems with his Dad.  Over the last year or so they have been really bad.  My son won't come home when his Dad is home.  I can't blame him.  Half the time I would disappear if I had somewhere to go.  I've been a stay at home Mom for 20 years.  My youngest just moved out and started college last month.  I want to start working but have no idea what to do.  My husband says he wants me to work but I think he likes it better when I'm at home.  When we fight and the "D" word comes up he promises to quit working so he won't have to pay me support.  When we seperated briefly a few months ago I had this calm over me that I can't explain.  Knowing he wasn't going to come home drunk and obnoxious was such a relief.  He told me that he was extremely happy when we were apart.  He was excited about starting a new life.  He was even okay with the fact the kids were not talking to him.  He could've cared less.  When we decided to give it another try he was on his very best behavior for several months.  Then the drinking started again.  Is there any hope?  How do I fix this?  If it's over, how do I begin again?  I have never felt so all alone.