We had our marriage counseling session today and I confronted her about the affair. She said it was just sex. I was so angry I couldn't speak...I had everything plotted and planned out what to say, and I couldn't think of anything...my brain froze up. The counselor stopped me from really giving her a piece of my mind...guess that's what I get for having a ref present.
She had nothing to say...I think she was in shock. I told her she trashed our wedding vows and treated them like garbage. I took out my wedding band and said because she did that, the ring was garbage, and I threw it in the trash. At that point, I told her we were done. I can't spend the rest of my life with a liar and someone who treats me like garbage. I went over the rest of the plan...moving back in to fix the house, get it on the market, then we could concentrate on the divorce. I told her about the collaborative divorce, and she seemed receptive.
She actually apologized...the first time I heard that since this whole thing started, but then she said that she was also glad that I felt betrayed and hurt...that's how she felt in Feb. So, it was a bittersweet thing. The counselor went over a few things, but at the end of the session, she asked my wife one more time if she wanted the divorce, and there was no hesitation that the answer was yes. So, with that, my wife has now gone from "wife" to "stbx."
We had a semi-pleasant talk in the parking lot after the session. I told her that I would be telling my family the truth about why we were getting divorced...up until now, I've kept the knowledge of her infidelity secret from them because I knew how they would react, and if we ended up working things out, things would be...awkward. I don't have to worry about that now, so I'm telling my family and friends what really happened.
I'm glad that a decision has been made. I'll be relieved that, when I move back in, I don't have to feel like I'm pressured to work on the marriage and walking on eggshells. But I'm sad...and more than a little afraid of what the future holds, now that she won't be in it. I'm mourning the death of our marriage. But I am strong. I will survive. I deserve better than this, and I will get it. I hope that she realizes one day what she lost. I won't discount it if she wants to try again, but she's got a lot to prove to me if she wants to try...quite frankly, I think she's too lazy to put the work into it that it needs. I'm mad at her, but mostly, I feel sorry for her...sorry that she really doesn't know what love is. I hope the counselor (she won't be seeing us both, just her from now on for her individual therapy) can help her with her deeper issues and problems and that she finds happiness someday.
Thank you all for being here for me, I really appreciate it...but I hate the fact that I'm going down this road. I just don't see any other path now. I followed my own advice...for once...though, I can look myself in the mirror and say I did all I could. I did.