Had a dream last night. It brought back the things that drove me crazy about him and not in a good way. 

Desi, if you are going to dream make them good ones. You and I on the beach in Jamaica with two of the Chippendale dancers. LOL All kidding aside, you are young, I don't know how old you husband is. We have spoken by e-mail and as I have told you, I think the pressure of being young with two kids and all the money problems was just  too much for him to handle. Don't ever lose the memories of the happy times because some of those memories include your kids and you don't want to forget those memories. Also even the bad memories will help you to remember the mistakes that were made and where things went wrong so that you can learn from your past and use it to mold your future. Hang in ther girl. Hugs from me to you.

Well, my advice on that is don't worry about the next person in his life...worry about the next person in yours.  If you love or ever loved him, you'll want him to be happy...let it go at that.  When your marriage dies, you mourn it like you would any other death...we always hope that the person who passed is in a better place, don't we?  Well, at least the people we love anyway...the ones we don't, well, we do tend to hope they end up in a warm, toasty place full of pitchforks, don't we?  Same with him.

But, like I said, worry about the next one for you.  Make sure it's on your terms and when you are ready.  You can use those painful, bad experiences and use them as a "what not to do" guide and hopefully be able to avoid the same pit falls in your next relationship.

But, since you are still in pain, my advice is to try not to think of that now.  You are still in the grieving process...give yourself that time to heal.  I know that the pain seems much now, and that it sounds cliche that it will get better as time goes on, but it does.  Try to concentrate on doing what makes you happy.  I hope that helps...pleasant dreams!!!